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This is what happens when I attempt to smile for a photo...
...I end up looking like a surburban serial murderer with a twisted past and one too many jars of formaldehyde in the attic. Or some Shakespearean maiden who has just witnessed/caused/suffered a tragedy beyond the realm of human comprehension. As if smiling were the most profoundly painful effort I could imagine.
Seriously, I went to campus Friday with the intention of a) spending half a week's pay on textbooks and b) picking up my student ID (if only to use it for discounted movie tickets).
Believe it or not, I was in a fine mood that glorious afternoon, sporting a new green corduroy jacket and smug as all hell because I can spell "corduroy!"
Hair pulled back in a messy bun, makeup frightfully limited, eyelids heavy from a wild night of crossword puzzles and mint tea, I staggered into the Student Services center to obtain my coveted ID card.
Little did I know, a camera awaited me, manned by an aloof, clock-watching photographer who sat me down, recited the requisite, "One... two... three" and then, upon pressing the shutter, said "Shit, it didn't take."
Sadly, this semi-deft, semi-high cameraman did NOT give me the benefit of a repeated numerical recitation and instead clicked the shutter when his subject was, quite obviously, contemplating something far more sinister than "Cheese!"
It's worse than my passport photo, folks. This guy is clearly an untapped goldmine of talent.
Posted by ayelet at February 6, 2006 09:05 PMIt doesn't look that bad, although it doesn't do you any favors either.
You come off as either a diehard Socialist, or a women's suffrage activist around the turn of the 20th century.
Posted by: James at February 9, 2006 12:31 PMGood thing we know you're Jewish, Fraulein...
Not the WORST picture... closed-eyed would've been worse.
I agree with Steve; "lose" it and go on a day when semi-high boy isn't working.
Posted by: Aviva at February 7, 2006 01:12 PMYikes, and I thought my deer in the headlights ID picture was bad.
If you do one of the acts your brother mentioned, wait until I graduate and pass the bar, then I can represent you.
It's not that bad, trust me, I've had people tell me I look like the runaway bride from down south.
Posted by: Maureen at February 7, 2006 10:53 AMWas this the head shot from your screen test for the Warnos movie? I know Charlize got it, but you put up a hell of a fight!
This is like those "stars without make-up" websites - we know her as a beautiful woman with a glow from the inside out - BUT LOOK what happens when she forgets her lipstick!
Much love and knowledge that this is not a picture of your inner soul..... MJ
If it's any consolation, it's not nearly as bad as my current California ID.
I look like Jabba the Hut.
Posted by: J. Herzog at February 7, 2006 02:40 AMYou weren't kidding about the photo. Just promise me you won't do anything psychotic, like drown your kids in a bathtub, "shank" someone in a dark alley, or start an ill-advised war on foreign soil...
Posted by: Amir at February 6, 2006 11:09 PMIt's as if you have an injured novelist held hostage in your spare bedroom and you're forcing him to rewrite his manuscript!
Those digital ID pics always make people look zombified anyways.
Perhaps you can "lose" it and pay the $5 to get a replacement.
Posted by: Steve Kinkaid at February 6, 2006 11:02 PMSee this site for more information about Puzzles.
Posted by: Roger at February 6, 2006 10:03 PM