|
|
|
|
|
My second semester as a grad student has me overwhelmed, to say the least. Still, as I've pointed out to friends, I'd rather be overwhelmed than underwhelmed. And I chose to embark on this path, which is a fact I'd sometimes prefer to forget, as it has been known to make me want to impale myself with sharp objects.
Last night, the class causing the overwhelm-ment (overwhelmance? overwhelmity?) was Advanced Topics for Professional Writers, a concept so vague that, four weeks into the semester, I am still unclear on the breadth of what we'll be covering.
We students had submitted a paper and I was pleased that our instructor selected mine to present to the class as an example of clear, concise writing style. I tried not to smile (must be humble, must be humble!), but gave myself a mental pat on the back for a job well done.
That was the first hour of class. By the third hour, I was so flummoxed over the requirements for our next project that I was ready to break my own bones just for a distraction. I dogged our instructor repeatedly with questions, potentially alienating my classmates by monopolizing all of her time when it seemed everyone else in the class understood the lesson perfectly. I was that student; the one her fellow students fantasize about choking with sticks of chalk.
My instructor was kind enough to stick around after class and patiently attempt to explain the assignment so that those of us with apparently limited mental faculties (i.e., ME) could grasp it.
Afterwards, I limped to the train station, bewildered and weary, doing my best to force that nagging, ever-present what the fuck was I thinking and how will I ever get through this? feeling out of my head.
Then, this morning, I received the following email from a classmate:
"I was sorry I didn't jump in to agree with you last night -- because I was also confused... I felt bad I left you 'hanging' there. I was just about to jump in and didn't -- I apologize for not supporting you! Actually, I'm almost positive that 90% of the class was in your situation -- but just didn't say anything. I admire how you can do what you did last night. You don't know how many classes I've left not knowing what was due for homework because I was hesitant to ask questions..."
(emphasis not mine)
I felt infinitely better upon discovering that I'm not the only one who is exasperated and overwhelmed by our challenging coursework and knowing that someone appreciated my wearisome questioning. I am not alone in the world of educational bewilderment. That is very good to know.
Posted by ayelet at September 20, 2006 12:11 PMIt just goes to show: if you are ever in doubt, you can count on someone (or everyone) around you being in even more doubt.
The difference is, you're not afraid to ask questions. That's why we have mouths, hands, and brains: the mouths to ask, the hands to raise, and the brains to know that some things need two or three explanations before they make sense.
More power to you.
Posted by: James at September 21, 2006 09:44 AMA,
In college I had Mr. Scally, a particularly bland and unimaginative math professor who told me that I asked too many "bonehead questions." So I told him that he reminded me of my grandfather.
Little did Scally know that old gramps, "Hairy Larry Mason," could be very sweet, but he could also be mean and pathetically immature.
Anyway, brava for asking questions! When you think about it, teachers get paid to field and answer those questions, and the good ones respect the whole process.
-A
Posted by: Aaron at September 20, 2006 11:10 PMGo Ayelet!
Let the swine-lemmings who quiver in the back of the auditorium insipidly collect their C grades at the end of the term while they secretly wonder "how she does it".
I have felt like the only student a thousand times whilst sitting with cowards. I asked, I commented, I voiced myself forth into the class. Sometimes, I had little rude comments or looks or snuffs sent my way.
I actually had a boo chorus sitting behind me in class. I turned around to the three of them when the professor CALLED ON ME (hmm, perhaps I WAS contributing afterall) and explained to their faces and the rest of the class that they didnīt know what they were talking about.
It takes guts to actually embrace education and wrestle the subtle meaning from between the lines even if it is just a homework assignment.
I then asked my question and the professor acknowledged me by saying it was a good question. All of our questions are good.
HAH! IT WAS A GOOD QUESTION!!! There are no bad questions.
It is swine such as they who don't question; they just do things such as voting for George B.
You are paying for your education, Ayelet. You are also helping the professor with the Sisyphean (I really hope I spelled that right) task of filtering incompetent people through her class.
Go!
Posted by: Jess at September 20, 2006 06:53 PMDear, dear, sweet morning fawn--
Remember, above all else, that you are there to learn. That means acquiring new skills and knowledge that you don't already have. You were wise to be that student, and should commend yourself for it, even though it must have been awkward. Don't overthink here--just attempt. You will be surprised with what happens--
Best,
Obi Wan (author), Yoda (Editor), HaitsJa (fellow adult student).