Marriage - The Early Days

Oh, blog, how I've missed you...

In the often wacky world of weddings, brides are generally depicted and/or perceived as elated, joyful, even jubilant. Once the hectic wedding period is over, newlyweds fall into a state of bliss and ecstasy, gleefully opening gifts, setting up house and planning their idyllic future now that they’ve entered the coveted realm of marriage. It's all romance and sunshine and smiles.

What’s harder to find—on the myriad wedding websites, in countless books and magazines or anywhere else—is a realistic depiction of newly-married life. It's new. And it's scary and overwhelming and... did I mention new?

I have been married less than 2 months, so I am hardly a credible commentator on the joys or troubles of marriage. Last week, Jason asked me to share my feelings about this past month of our lives. I stumbled over my answer. Meanwhile, my new husband coolly asserted it has been the happiest month of his life, to which I smiled and remembered why I adore him so.

To say it has been a roller-coaster would be not only a cliché, but an understatement. My married friends warned me that the weeks leading up to the wedding (as well as the event itself) go by in a blur of planning, organizing, preparing and coordinating and finally, celebrating. We excitedly counted down the days to our wedding, only to have the day spring itself on us as if unannounced, then whizzing by in a magical haze of hugs, kisses, handshakes and clinking glasses.

Then, our parents and siblings left town, along with various other relatives and friends making their way back to the west coast or points elsewhere. We got our gifts put away, thank-you cards written, follow-up phone calls made, house straightened out, rings resized. Things seemed to settle down and return to normal for us. With one minor exception: we are now legally bound to one another. Our lives are intertwined in a way they've never been with anyone else before, involving our families, our finances, our health and everything in between.

As someone who has always relished her independence and enjoyed, for the most part, her singlehood, I've struggled with conflicting emotions: The joy and elation of sharing my life with someone I intend to stick with and whose company I intend to enjoy until I'm too old to enjoy much else, coupled with anxiety over sharing my life so completely and openly with another human being. I'm aware that this is my own crap and I'm dealing with it. And when I'm feeling overwhelmed by it all, I just remember I'm not the first, the second or even the millionth newlywed to experience these emotions.

Then, I cuddle up to my husband and wrap my arms around him and everything else falls away. That's when I know it's all worth it.

Posted by ayelet at December 16, 2009 02:14 PM